So Life Goes On! ‘Busted Expectations’ or Not. We all have Expectations dashed at one point or another. I know I have! As I continue to navigate in a new direction in a New Year, (Can you believe it? Spring is being Sprung this week!!) I have to remind myself to feel into my heart. Allow my heart to hurt over Dashed Expectations. No matter how long ago these dashed expectations took place, it seems the thoughts of them continue to rent space like a squatter within my mind. The expectations of finding someone only to break up because of differences we couldn’t overcome. Recognizing that my picker may still be broken even after I thought I had fixed it years ago. (It’s that darn onion… peeling yet another layer…)
It’s funny, there were many times during this last relationship I found myself saying, “This is behavior I put up with in my 20’s”. (I am going to be 55 this year.) I thought I would have realized how many times I was saying this and run towards the hills. I didn’t. I chose not to. Not because I was needy (well maybe a little needy), I kept ‘working’ on this relationship because I wanted a relationship to work. I wanted longevity in my love life. Don’t ask me how long my longest relationship has been. I will tell you it’s not like my parents. They have been married 56 years! At this point I can’t imagine it. (Maybe that’s why I am still single! lol)
I am in the mindset that nearly all of us have ‘red flags’. Someone somewhere is going to find something within that person that could be called a red flag. It’s a matter of whether we choose to overlook the red flag (s) or not. Does it affect our life? At first the red flag I chose to live with didn’t affect me. (or so I kept telling myself) Over the course of our relationship I found that it was taking a toll on me. I had even gained around 30 pounds to protect myself. Our bodies do not lie! Our bodies are the first to tell us something is amiss and that we are not living life in accordance to what we could be living which is so much more than we can imagine! When I finally got totally honest with myself and in order for me to live my life in the Passion my heart knew I could, I started losing my weight.
It took me a few more months to lose him but I still had this idea he would make good on his promises. But at the end of the day, I had to literally ‘CUT MY LOSES’ and move on. When people show up in our lives and they do us wrong, we have to practice letting it go. We have to tell ourselves it is not worth the energy we spend being mad about the injustice we feel. We have to tell ourselves that we are worth so much more because we are! We are worth it! We do ourselves good when we practice Forgiveness. It’s not easy to practice this but the rewards are there once we do.
The next time someone does something to disappoint you or that you have Dashed Expectations because of the actions of someone else, remember that you are better than you think. You are shifting and moving into more of your Authentic Self. Remember that you are learning so much from this experience you get to have and because of this experience and the deeper understanding you are receiving from having this experience is only making you a better person. You are Better than you were yesterday.
Visualize you in a field of flowers (only if you don’t have allergies), in a boat on the water, or sitting on top of a mountain. Visualize what makes your heart sing and stay there as long as possible. This action helps you to become more of that person you strive to be. It also helps you to forgive and move on to bigger and better things.
It is also important to add that we are not to take anything Personally! We all have our stories! We all have our individual paths. Thank that person who may have attributed to your Dashed Expectations! It was a choice you made to play and learn. Now Move On! Enjoy Life!